Harm Jagerman

The Excuse Queen

My daughter is a very sweet girl. She is also one of those girls who can be called an Excuse Queen. She is capable of creating the most “beautiful” excuses. Sometimes these excuses are so creative. She isn’t the only one. There are more children who make up “great” excuses. I will focus on my daughter and her way of telling things… or twisting the truth to her own advantage.

2017. July 12th to be precise. My daughter would start first grade after a period of two years in the kindergarten of the Waldorf school in Leiden. I assumed this meant that she was done with drawing on places where she shouldn’t be drawing. I was wrong. Earlier that week, she surprised me with her statement about a cut open tube of toothpaste. She explained that she wanted to see what was on the inside. Days later, I was confronted with her creativity. Not in the way you want her to show her creativity. She decided to draw on the door of her bedroom.

When confronted with this, I need to establish if she had done this. It might as well be her brother, though I was seriously doubting this.

“No, I didn’t do this.”

That was her first reply. She said this with full self-confidence. This answer turned to:

“Maybe someone did this.”

Who that someone was, that wasn’t clear. She began explaining how someone might have entered our house and drew (only) on her bedroom door.

As soon as she found it, I wouldn’t fall for this, she decided to change her tactics. As if I was that absentminded one. When we bought the house, there could have been the possibility that this drawing was already present on our door. She said to me:

“Maybe, this has been there all along.”

Answers like these made her father – me – look even angrier. Eventually, she decided to admit what she did. With a very good reason:

“I wanted to make the door look prettier.”

I fully support the Dutch father, who recently made the news. His son urinated against a house in Leiden. The police found out and when his father was notified, he brought a bucket and a mop and he was forced to clean the house. When my daughter decided to use her door to show her creativity, I made her clean the door herself.

I gave her a pack of cleaning wipes (the ones for lazy people (I’m not suggesting anything) and after only a few minutes I could hear her say:

“The pack is empty!”

There were 50 wipes in the pack…

Why does this make my daughter into Excuse Queen? She is most certainly not the only one. Even your child can do the same. Sometimes children make up the most ridiculous excuses. Excuses that are actually really clever. In an attempt to avert the impending doom, they come up with the most fantastic scenarios. You know, the ones you see in movies. Made up by children with velvet voices. Nuts! These too can be listed into the same category as those made up by my puppy-eyed daughter.

This week I decided not to be fooled by her puppy-eyes. I even told her that. Yes, she can look at me with those beautiful brown eyes of her, but I will resist them. I will resist the force! I must!

To be sure, I’ll give her house arrest until she turns 40!

The creation of the Excuse Queen.
The creation of the Excuse Queen

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